Dissolving Life..


i'm sick, sick sick..

yes yes.. i noe..



CAT!! STOP WHININ ABT BEIN SICK WILL YA??!!


i'm coughin n coughin n my throat hurts.. =( spend the dae at home with a woozy head.. breakout's not goin away either...

*prays to wake up n find this all a bad dream*

haven't been out frm saturdae til todae... (-_-lll so much for partyin my hols away.. gee.. sick sick.. bleahz.. i need loads of books to help mi pass my time at home, away..



AVAUNT!!!


:p


sickness, va te faire voire chez les Grecs!

(translation: go to hell!)


oh.. n bon voyage to gracie!! have fun n take care!! =)




CaT cat purred at 10:03 PM
....................

i'm bored bored bored
and sick sick sick
i'm snifflin n coughin
starin at this screen
boo hoo hoo.


CaT cat purred at 10:20 PM

Save These Tears..


I'll be goin away for awhile, soon.. frm the 15th to the 21st of Dec..


do i hear u askin where to??


HONG KONG!!



"mai dong xi, chi dong xi, mai dong xi, chi dong xi".. (english translation: buy stuff, eat stuff)

shoppin haven.. =) but think i wld tend to shy away frm buyin.. coz my parents habit of not buyin anything, except the obligated gifts for frens n relatives, while on a holidae, is quite deeply ingrained in mi.. weird rite?? other ppl tend to buy stuff while on a holidae, as mementos n stuff.. but my parents dun.. not even when they went to hong kong n taiwan, which r supposedly shoppin havens.. (-_-lll gee...


hmm.. i wonder how possible is it for mi to update my blog everydae while i'm there.. :p


i wonder if i'll be missed by ppl other than manda, my parents, my bro, n someone who depends on my blog for entertainment. haha..

hmm.. i'm havin a cough.. n i'm still dreamin abt last nite's dinner.. had dinner at swensens, in changi airport, with my family last nite.. love the food.. n the ice-cream was simply sinful yet heavenly... =) went to lau pa sat for satays after dat.. the meat was so soft n fine.. i recommend the Fatman Satay stall there.. gosh.. itz the best among the entire street of satay vendors there i swear..

once, i had wanted to bring him there, to try out the satays there together, followed by a walk along Fullerton One, n soak up the scene n atmosphere there.. once, i wanted to go to the Esplanade at nite, with him, to enjoy the lights n the sights there together..

now, how possible is it?


haiz.. think i shall think abt my trip instead.. take my mind off things.. n pray dat he'll be here, when i'm back..

i still wanna spend Christmas with him..



CaT cat purred at 1:08 PM

gettin a headache, n coughin constantly.. i'm fallin sick, no?

is there anyone who will take care of mi, regardless of anything? someone who'll brave storms
for mi, n stay by my side no matter wat?

am i askin the impossible? love does not conquer all?

i see the lovey dovey stuff dat ppl write, dat i write.. n it all seems unreal to mi.. have i lost my faith? my will to keep things goin?

how come the towel is so readily thrown in?

no, i dun wan dat.. it wasn't mi..

i hope i can juz wallow in self-pity n die frm coughin.. though itz hardly possible dat someone can die frm coughin..

but i can't..

as much as i feel weak n helpless nw, i gotta bounce back soon..

i owe it to myself, n the ppl around mi.. i can't be beaten by a setback juz like dat.. i've gotta be stronger..

maybe soon, i will be.. maybe i'll learn..

but nw.. everything seems a blank.

a black, gapin blank.. like a vortex, drawin mi in..

eyes hurt, heart throbs..

pain.


n onli by speakin in riddles, can i lay bare my innermost self.


CaT cat purred at 2:04 AM
....................

it hurts right here..

as much as i'm reluctant to reuse a pic, i find this the most apt..

so much to express, but no strength..

itz been all sapped out..

i've hit pit bottom..

in the abyss, dark n lonely..

do u see?



CaT cat purred at 11:59 PM
....................

HATE IS AN ALL-CONSUMING PASSION.


HOW WLD U LIKE SOMEONE LABELLIN U AS STUPID, COZ THE PERSON THINKS DAT WAT U DO IS STUPID, IN THE PERSON'S OPINION?

HOW WLD U LIKE HEARIN THE PHONE CLICK N THE LINE GOIN DEAD? JUZ COZ UR OPINIONS DIFFER WITH THOSE OF THE PERSON U R TALKIN TO?

WAT DOES DAT SHOW ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF RESPECT THE PERSON HAVE FOR YOU?



ZILCH.

ZERO.

NOTHING.

NONE.



AND YOU NOE WAT?




I HATE.


CaT cat purred at 11:55 PM

I Love Fashion!!! =)

spent the dae recuperatin at home todae, after my shoppin stints everydae, the whole dae, since Wednesdae.. =)


I'VE BOUGHT A DRESS FOR CRASHIN PROM IN!!!

yay!! after daes of window shoppin, wantin to buy stuff, n yet not buyin, i finally got some retail therapy yesterdae!! =) bought an LBD yesterdae, in preparation for prom..



WATZ AN LBD????




LBD= Little Black Dress (for the fashion-UNintiated)



yep.. itz suitably simple n classy, yet cute.. yippee!! match with black heels n a shawl or something, i shld be done.. =) okie.. throw in a sparklin brooch too.. along with some accessories.. bling blings r always the best n easiest way to glamourise an outfit.. =) so, i've got it all covered!!



alrite.. not exactly.. onli the dress, shawl, n shoes r settled.. :p



so, i met up with manda yesterdae, n we went to far east plaza, queensway, n heeren for shoppin.. =) bought a top at queensway too.. nice n quite unique.. not to mention easier on my purse-strings than if itz something bought in town.. we had lunch at Ikea.. roast beef.. yumm..


saw karsten n da sao at heeren.. got poked on my shoulder by the umbrella mr Karsten Toh Ang You was usin.. pain!! din anyone teach him not to play on the escalators?? haha..


met up with Bunny n his fren, kenneth at Cine, while manda went home.. yikes.. felt abit guilty over leavin her to go home alone.. but, i hate goin home early, when i can stay out longer..
so, the three of us went to the Breeks in Taka for dinner, n kenneth's gf, jasryl, joined us.. after dat, they went to play pool at Cine while i watched frm the side.. (-_-lll



let mi list the things dat i dunnoe how to do..

1) play poker cards (or unno or wateva.. i juz dunnoe how to play cards.. n yesh.. do not give mi the litany "no childhood, deprived childhood" or anything like dat)
2) play bowling
3) play pool
4) cycle
5) ice-skate

n the list goes on... imagine.. the most basic stuff dat normal teenagers can n noe how to do, i dun.. (-_-lll n i'm not dumb! i'm juz very sheltered.. :p



so, i've made up my mind abt the things i wanna do/ might wanna do..

1) highlight my hair with streaks of red.. [temptin.. most of my frens, jc classmates, have dyed their hair n mine is still of itz natural colour!! (-_-lll]
2) learn cyclin (with Bunny to teach mi)
3) learn to play pool (not Bunny.. he might laugh at my incompetence)
4) learn to ice-skate (Bunny said itz dangerous n is reluctant to teach mi)



hmm.. yep.. the hair thingy, pls drop some comments.. :p n one other place i wanna shop at is chinatown!! tot i can check it out.. =) yay!! i love my life nw!




CaT cat purred at 10:27 PM
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It Hurts Right Here..


had a dream last nite.. bad dream.. in my dreams, my persona left bunny, twice.. n each time, "i" went runnin back.. the first time seems to be a reminder of the past.. the second time felt very real.. n after "i've" left him for the second time in my dream, my persona felt dat, it was a wrong decision, coz it felt horrible.. n my persona went runnin thru the streets lookin for him, cryin as "i" searched.. "i" met alot of ppl i knew, on the way of "my" search.. "i" asked for help, n received none.. even in my dreams, i felt so alone.. like my world was collaspin around mi, n it was my persona, dat single-handedly crashed "my" entire world, by leavin him.. thank god, at the end of the dream, my persona managed to find him.. n he was right where he had been in the first place.. he never left, coz he cldn't bear to.. n dat was my bad dream, though with a sweet endin dat even now, leaves my eyes moist when i recall it.. coz i remember feelin a deep sense of relief when my persona found him..

so, since it has a happie endin, y is it bad? coz it reminded mi of something similar that once happened to us.. n how it had tore mi apart.. with daes n nites of cryin, where the tears will juz flow, unchecked n unstoppable.. dat had been the lowest point of my life.. where i had almost lost him, becoz of mi.. n after dat, i swore to myself, i wun ever allow myself to be dat foolish again.. coz i simply cldn't bear to lose him.. who am i to think dat i cld juz walk away n seek wateva i want, without him.. itz impossible, coz i can't do without him in my life, i simply cannot let go of him.. i can't bear to.. to think dat i can, is a lie to myself.. n i've learnt to stop deludin myself, after wat had happened..

the sense of lost, even though it was a dream, is excruciatin.. even when i'm awake now n typin this, n the dream is already a fadin memory, it still hurts mi.. like the picture depicts.. it hurts right there, a deep ache throbbin in my heart.. it feels almost physical.. no wonder they call it heartache.. coz datz how it reallie feels like..

n nw, i'm reminded of Christmas Eve last yr.. i spent the nite before Christmas Eve, last yr, cryin my eyes out, coz he was leavin on Cristmas Eve mornin, to go back to Indonesia for a visit.. he never knew how i had bitten back on my tears while we were on the phone.. he never knew how the dam had broke n i collapsed as soon as he put down the phone.. at dat pt, i felt lost n abandoned by him.. it was the most horrible feelin n i almost cldn't talk frm all the cryin i was doin.. spoke to frens n they comforted mi, but the tears wun stop.. (i wonder if i have over-active tear glands nw, to make up for all the tears dat i've repressed in the past..) i noe it seems silly, to cry juz becoz he's goin away for awhile.. but yet, it was a tearin pain.. dat i cldn't, n still can't comprehend..

n i get reminded of how, when he first asked mi if it was possible for us to be together, i was so happie dat i ended up cryin.. oopz.. (-_-lll i felt so blissful n happie dat i thought my heart wld burst frm it.. =) n though our relationship isn't the easiest thing in life, i'll never regret a moment of it.. okie.. maybe i will, juz those time where i made him fed up.. :p



funnie how a dream can inspire a whole blog post huh? but the heartache dat i woke up with left mi no doubt dat if i dun get it out, it'll linger for the rest of the dae..

i hope i'll do better this Christmas.. no more cryin.. i shld find a couple of frens, go out, have fun, n happily wait for him to come back, to mi.. =)

n as much as u wld wince/ cringe frm readin this, i reallie gotta proclaim dat....



TRI GUNADI WIDJAJA, I ABSOLUTELY, DEEPLY, COMPLETELY, WHOLEHEARTEDLY, WONDROUSLY, MADLY, UNBELIEVABLY, DEFINITELY, ADORE YOU TO BITS!!!!! =)


n i'll never be so dumb as to think of leavin u again.. unless u wan to go.. n even so, i'll do wateva i can, wateva's in my power, to try to make u stay, until i can't do anythin abt it anymore, until u tell mi dat u dun love mi.. else, i'm never lettin u go.. coz, i noe watz a gd thing when i get one, n u r abt the best datz ever happened to mi so far..
=)


I LOVE MY BUNNY!!! =)




CaT cat purred at 10:15 AM
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Feeling of Freedom

yay!! bunny's finished his exams too!! =) heehee.. picked him up at skool todae n ate lunch at Heartland's Yoshi with his classmates, where they discussed when to play soccer.. den, we went our own ways n he went home to change before we headed down to paragon.. wanted to go to mt faber den east coast but it was rainin.. ended up sittin at paragon chattin..

went to watch some basketball thingy outside taka in the end.. it was nice juz bein tightly held by him as we watched the ppl go by n the rain fall.. =) went n sat by the stairs in taka later.. seems like we did alot of sittin around todae.. but it felt good.. like we had all the time in world.. n we do, to a certain extent.. =) had omu rice in taka, den he accompanied mi to LOOK AT lingerie at the ladies section.. the pierre cardin selection there had lots of cute designs.. very nice!!! there was one with a tuff of white fluff attached to a piece of ribbon, danglin frm the article.. whahaha... oopz.. too much info?? but itz onli a piece of fabric.. :p

saw this black mesh top at Forever 21.. okie okie.. there r other colours available for it too.. but i'm onli interested in the black piece.. :p itz perfect for crashin prom in!! =) itz shimmery mesh in the front n a few STRANDS of black ribbon criss-crossed at the back.. which means......... *drumroll*


ITZ BACKLESS!!


so, u get the idea dat itz juz a piece of shimmery black mesh, like chainmail, held together by a few strands of ribbon at the back!! party perfect ain't it?? =) n those who noe mi since sec 4 shld noe y nw dat i have an inexplicable likin for backless apparel.. afterall, i did wear a top where the back plunged down to the base of my back, almost at the waist, for sec 4 prom.. whahhaa... excited.. =)

i like havin him send mi home... =)

n tmr, i hope i'll be able to do some serious shoppin.. meetin up with manda to shop!! can hardly wait.. =)

n champion, all the best for ur S paper tmr!! Freedom is awaits u!! (so do shoppin.. :p)



CaT cat purred at 11:42 PM
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Madness is only a State of Mind

datz y mi walkin home, might seem mad to some ppl, but for mi, itz reallie nothing.. :p



hmmm... went to fetch bunny frm skool after his paper todae.. den went for breakfast/ lunch (do u call it brunch??) before catchin a movie at cine.. after the movie, we wandered around town before headin down to Bugis Street to do some shoppin.. saw jia hui, my sec skool senior aka gf of my fren, ng san chin, workin there.. :p




BUNNY N MI BOUGHT T-SHIRTS WITH MATCHIN DESIGNS!!!



awwwwwww....



haha... n it wasn't mi who suggested it but, HIM!!!! =) his is in dark blue while mine is in pink.. heehee... itz not often dat he gets into this whole couply thing.. so, yep.. i'm happie coz itz a sweet gesture on his part to suggest n buy the t-shirts for us.. n we decided dat we'll wear it together to his classmate's bbq.. :p

we also saw this very adorable shop at Bugis Street, sellin candies, in all sorts of wonderfully exquisite n beautiful packagin.. there was a box filled with a 100 stalks of roses, made of candy/ choc.. n itz imported frm korea.. lotsa cutesy candies there so anyone worryin abt wat to give ur frens for Christmas can give dat place a shot.. or, even if u r not buyin anything, can head over n be stunned by the selection.. =)

had dinner at Thai Express in J8.. after which, i asked him to take the mrt home instead of accompanyin mi coz it was gettin rather late n he's havin his last paper tmr.. so, i walked home frm J8.. a route which spans 6 bus stops, n took mi 30 mins.. (-_-lll din reallie get tired out by the walkin.. well.. at least itz a form of exercise, albeit, a mild form.. :p



hmm.. i reallie need to do some serious shoppin.. need clothes to crash the prom in.. n my wardrobe overhaul.. gosh.. i need money!! (x_x)



n itz edward's bdae!! hereby wishin him a happie bdae n apologise dat i cldn't make it for his party.. oopz..




CaT cat purred at 9:52 PM
....................

this is written for the sake of someone askin to be entertained...

~

Right.. so, since exams r over, i need to sort out my life..
i'm not high in demand among frens (which i dun think i have alot of) so, i dun see myself flooded with invitations.. (guess dat explains y i dun need stuff like organisers?) my life revolves around a tight grp of ppl whom i frequently meet, my close frens, n a looser grp of ppl, who i talk to once in awhile, followed by an even looser grp, acquaintances.. Hi!-Bye! ppl in my life.. n i'm still tryin to figure out, how come the first grp is perpetually so darn small.. (-_-lll

i also need to figure out, how much time i shld spend with him, such dat it wun be too much, or too litlle.. too much n i'll appear to be a clingy gf, too little n he might feel neglected.. n watz worse is if he wans to meet mi but i've got alternative plans, or vice versa.. where do i draw the line?? esp when we r both given to sudden bouts of possessiveness.. gosh.. if i forsake him for my shoppin n frens, he'll be unhappy n vice versa.. sometimes it seems like we r almost conjoined at the hip.. (-_-lll n it can be abit unhealthy i realised.. but it seems like we can't be apart for too long at one time or one/ both of us will get cranky n snap at each other, gettin into rows.. (x_x) where's the perfect balance? i'm still tryin to find it..

nw dat we have all the time in the world, there's still something naggin at mi.. my instincts r tellin mi something is off.. i wonder wat.. n i wish dat my instincts r wrong.. :p

~

to the Someone.. entertained?? :p thank my crappin skills.. haha..



CaT cat purred at 11:16 PM

Release..

EXAMS R OFFICIALLY OVER FOR MI!!!!!!!

SHOPPIN!!! =)

all hell's gonna break loose.. i'm goin to paint the town RED..




CaT cat purred at 10:01 PM
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Almost...

the worst is over.. i can sense the scent of freedom in the air.. sweet, alluring..

itz all amost over... =)



CaT cat purred at 10:05 PM
....................

..



watched the korean drama above, Stairway to Heaven.. very nice show, considerin dat i'm not reallie a fan of korean dramas.. but very saddenin.. with a sad endin.. definitely one show i wun recommend manda to watch, coz she dun like shows with sad endings.. :p

tmr's econs n hist.. y do they have to cram two subjects into one dae? but heck.. if it means exams finish earlier, i'll bear with it..

prediction for tmr: i'll be brain-drained..

=(



CaT cat purred at 10:23 PM
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Asyhyxiate


aight.. juz got home frm my grandpa's house.. went for a visit with my mum n bro..

on the way home, i saw a telecast of an earlier episode of s'pore idol.. n i wonder...













HOW THE HELL DID SYLVESTER MAKE IT THRU INSTEAD OF OLINDA????!!!!!!!




he totally butchered the song "i swear" in the episode i juz saw on the bus... (o_0)





WAT THE HELL??!!!!




n i still think he looks like a chao ah beng.. :p (i'm so spiteful)


the truth is, i think olinda can sing so much better.. geez.. s'pore idol have become a popularity contest instead of dat of talent.. such a disappointment.. esp when i saw dat olinda was out, on the bus yesterdae..



yesh.. i dun watch s'pore idol.. so when i do watch it, itz by chance..



i lament for the sad fate of "i swear".. to be so mercilessly butchered by a singer with 'ah beng' looks n a voice datz quite simply jarrin to my ears n nerves.. n itz my mum's favourite song!! (x_x)

wat a pity..





CaT cat purred at 9:29 PM
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nice??? my favourite is the one where we r wearin crowns.. =)

met up with yuling, my ex-colleague todae.. haha.. brought clothes to change in skool after my lit paper n rushed down to town.. her first response when she saw mi was,


"wah.. have to cut ur fringe til so short meh?? so cute until i cannot stand it"..

(-_-lll


went to shop around far east.. ate dinner at Hans.. :p saw alot of things dat i'll like to buy, but nothing dat will give mi any real sense of satisfaction frm buyin it.. u see.. the satisfaction of retail therapy will onli hit u when u r buyin something dat u feel dat u wan, dat u reallie can't live without.. so, since i wan everything n nothing in particular, there is no sense of satisfaction to be had, n rather than splashin my money on such stuff, i ended up not buyin anything.. :p

we went to bugis street after dinner.. hmm.. saw the Cute Shopkeeper again!!!



*blush n faints*

=)

he is sooooo cute.. cute beyond words..

*sigh*

n he was cuddlin this little white puppy..




okie.. Bunny wun like this so i shall stop.. haha.. anyway, yuling bought a mickey mouse top.. very nice, with a unique design.. think itz quite value for money coz i think it'll be hard to find a similar design anywhere else.. so, i encouraged her to buy it n she did.. :p

as for mi.. i seriously need to save enuf money so dat i can splurge n still have enuf money left over.. i hate spendin on shoppin den realise i do not have enuf money to use when i go out again.. (x_x) n, i still can't decide on wat kind of clothes i wanna buy.. cutesy or dark gothic?? gee.. troublesome..


i need a wardrobe overhaul!!





CaT cat purred at 11:42 PM
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All The World's A Stage..


met up with bunny todae n went to queensway together n shopped around.. was supposed to meet manda but she wasn't feelin well n cldn't make it.. so i decided to go alone, until bunny called mi n i told him i was goin out, n he decided to join mi.. the female apparel at queensway is limited but quite nice.. not as "Lian" as those dat u might find in far east.. but, i din buy anything coz i wasn't in the mood to.. it feels abit weird shoppin with him n tryin on clothes coz it feels as though he's bored out of his mind shoppin with mi.. =(

anyway, we headed to town after queensway, n walked around in heeren.. saw elroy, juz when i've msged him yesterdae tellin him i saw his pic in a survey done in Seventeen.. :p after dat, walked to bunny's house n sat at the swing by the pools.. wanted to continue shoppin, while he went home, initially, coz he cldn't stay out for long.. (house arrest orders still in place) but, he wanted mi to go home.. (-_-lll so i decided to walk him to his house instead..

why izzit dat it seems like he's unwillin to let mi be outside by myself, esp if itz without his company.. does he expect mi to get up to any mischief or wat? i dun understand.. is it a kind of possessiveness? or insecurity in his part, due to a lack of trust in mi.. itz not like i'm in any danger, nor is it possible dat i might latch on to other guys or vice versa.. so, why?

there was abit of unhappiness before i went home..


bunny, itz not dat i dun understand dat u can't stay out long.. itz dat i can't understand, y i have to be home, juz becoz u are.. wat r u so worried abt? dat i'm unfaithful?? dat i'll get to noe someone new??


y is it dat our wants r always in conflict?

but, i still like spendin time with him.. 24/7? i dun mind..



i'm itchin to break out of these chains dat exams have put on mi..




CaT cat purred at 10:05 PM
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A Darkness Coming...

guess dat signifies the dae i get back my econs grade.. n yes.. guess the casket's for mi.. =( the horrors! the trauma!! oh gosh!! or as my bro will sae, "holy macaroni!!!".. whahah.. dat was how bad econs was.. guess i'll leave the econs marker with a sooty black face as well.. with amt of smokin i did for the essays.. (-_-lll

met up with bunny for lunch at taka before the paper.. wat the.. had to make a last min dash there coz my alarm din ring? (or mayb i'm subconciously programmed to switch off my alarm without noein it..) so, i took a cab there.. (-_-lll the driver took mi on le grande tour of our little sunny island!!! kaoz!! he apparently took a reallie big round-about way before we got frm my house to the CTE.. let mi see, we got to somewhere near bradell, den ended up in toa payoh, before gettin to novena, before gettin to the CTE.. (-_-lll huh???!!! den he forgot to exit frm the CTE, n before i noe it, we went past the Clarke Quay MRT station..


HOW THE HELL DID WE END UP THERE???!!!! (@_@)


n the guy had the guts to tell mi dat "oopz! i was too busy talkin, i forgot to exit!!"


HUH??!! *incredulous look*

is it my fringe dat killed off any dangerous edge to my looks dat i've previously possessed?

anyway, he almost got mi killed in a car crash too.. we were juz dat teeny bit away frm the car in front.. n it din help dat i was in the front passenger seat.. (x_x) the onli redeemin pt to him was dat, he charged mi onli $6.. coz he wasted my time.. n, i saw my dream car right in front of us the whole time.. a red ferrari!! =)


sent bunny home todae.. n we found out dat his bro is back.. *thank God again dat i declined Bunny's offer to wait in his house before we go to the swings* it was a close shave.. coz i was waitin rite outside the door n we had no idea his bro was back.. both of us have no wish for a direct confrontation between mi n his bro.. phew.. but, we had to cancel our slackin-by-the-swings plan n i went home in a cab, rather sulky n him, home, rather fed up (with sulky mi)..

he stuffed a ten dollar note into my hand befoer i got on the cab, to pay for my cab fare.. i din use it.. i shall either keep it or return it to him.. if i keep, i'll be darn sentimental.. if i return, i have pride.. haha.. wat shall it be? =)


Bunny, i'm sorie i wasn't more understandin... =( all the best for ur paper tmr mornin..


feel like goin shoppin tmr.. bad time i noe.. but..... the idea is naggin at mi.... hmmm... :p



n i can't help but emphasise again....


todae's econs was H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E..

'nuff said..




CaT cat purred at 10:50 PM
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a pic sent to mi by a fren.. =) kawaii!!

bbbbbrrrrrrr.. cold weather.. woke up early to msg bunny gd luck for his maths paper todae, before driftin back to slp.. =)

lit was kinda nitemarish.. i was writin total bullshit!! OMG!!!! wan dan le.. i'm finished.. (x_x)

the weather was reallie chilly while i waited for the bus home.. cld feel the cold sinkin in, down to the very marrow of my bones, before seepin out again, emanatin frm within mi, dispellin any traces of warmth frm my body.. my hands felt postively frozen stiff.. as though someone had drained out all the blood n replaced my blood with ice water instead.. ugh.. COLD!!!!

n i think i was either brain-numbed by the cold, or still have shock frm the paper lingerin in my system.. while waitin for the bus home, instead of noticin dat my bus was approachin the bus stop i was waitin at, i was in a daze.. until gary told mi my bus have come, i went "huh?" n he asked " u not takin 132 meh?" (o_0) wat the.. since when, n frm where did the bus materialised frm??!!! *pengz* so i hastily bid him gdbye n went to board the bus, in case it quickly went off.. (-_-lll

someone snap mi out of my daze pls.. i feel like i've been in wonderland the whole dae, with my brain driftin around in God-noes-where.. i feel so oddly detached, though itz a pleasant peaceful feelin.. mayb itz the cool weather.. :p


tmr will be totally traumatisin dae.. i'm so not lookin forward to it.. who is? haha..

none.. :p



CaT cat purred at 10:24 PM
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Envy Emeralds

there's alot for mi to be envious of..



CaT cat purred at 10:25 PM

I HATE CHRISTMAS!!! I HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT!!!! N I HOPE IT NEVER COMES!!!!












will i ever get to spend christmas with him?

CaT cat purred at 2:00 AM
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the poll, for suitable hairstyles, dat never got a chance to be posted.. (-_-lll

borin dae spent at home devourin novels, green bean soup n boiled veggie..





CaT cat purred at 10:07 PM
....................

rite.. here's my new look.. no, itz not a wig.. i got my fringe cut.. hahaha.. look like jap doll.. (-_-lll

got it cut at Kimage in toa payoh todae.. hmm.. the hairdresser said i looked like sharon au.. (o_0) not again??!! den she asked if my hair was dyed.. haha.. i'll take dat to mean dat my hair is of a nice colour.. whahaha... =) when i finished my haircut, i cldn't help but laugh.. i looked funny!!! stunned.. n the other hairdressers, when they saw mi, smiled.. being the expert in self-denial, i convinced myself dat it was coz i looked super adorable n NOT FUNNY.. :p

went to scotts isetan to meet my mum after the haircut.. along the way, caught alot of glances flung my way.. hmm.. is dat gd or bad?? (x_x) den, went to orchard library while my mum headed home first.. managed to convince Bunny to meet mi! i cld see he was stunned when he first saw mi.. cld tell he wanted to laugh, but managed to hold it back n smiled instead.. (-_-lll for the rest of the dae, he treated mi like a kid.. sayin i shld sit in those baby chair when we ate at mac.. dotz.. n apparently, this new hairstyle sparked off an urge in him to pinch my cheeks!!! damn.. so all the time we walked around in taka, he was tryin to catch mi unawares n pinch my cheeks.. sheesh..

anyway, think i'm gettin pretty okie reaction to this hairstyle.. =) so i hereby proclaim itz not a disaster!! heehee...





CaT cat purred at 10:06 PM
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Shadow Dancer..


i think i'm gettin into the Christmas spirit.. haha.. it sneaked up upon mi n nw i'm infused with a sudden joy n excitement.. =) makes mi wanna get up, dance around, get out, party!! Yikes!! bring on the luxe jewel-toned clothes, the smoky eyes n luscious glosses, deep red nails with holly-green crystals!! high heels and gliterin jewelry,smoulderin eyes n delectable pouts, hot-to-trot, stolen glances, glitter!!!! =) alrite.. i'm nutz! :p

a step back to sanity, (or maybe, a departure) i have a confession to make.. i'm sure ppl singin in the showers is already a norm, nothing special.. but, ppl dancing in their shower, thats quite another thing.. hahaha.. behold!! i'm one such person, who dances in her shower.. i figured that i should furnish my toilet in the future, such dat it looks like a disco.. with dark tiled walls, bright lights, a disco ball as decor/ lamp, n music!!! hahah.. nutz! but i'll sure look cool huh? dancing in the shower, while the water patters down on u, no one watchin wateva antics u get up to, surrounded by the scents frm ur soaps n shampoos.. =) i'm in wonderland!!

alrite.. i'm gonna design a card for all my blog readers, aka, frens.. (whahaha.. don't need to send out cards.. lazy lah.. :p) and post it here on Christmas Dae. i'm gonna party and stay out the whole nite on Christmas Eve! marcus, we might get to meet again! hahaha.. n now, for my Christmas Wishlist!!! (though itz still abit early)


1) to spend Christmas n the rest of my hols with Bunny!!
(if this fails, sure hope marcus n manda will be around to spend christmas eve together)

2) someone to take mi shoppin n sponsor for all my expenses!! (fat hope rite?? haha.. :p)

3) Flawless perfect skin!!!

4) SKII sample set/ Biotherm Acnopur set. ($108 for the Biotherm Christmas Surprise)

5) gingerbread men (i've never eaten one before.. i'm so deprived.. :p)

6) candycanes!!! (my favourite christmas gifts for ppl on Christmas Eve)


datz all for nw.. shall think of more to add on n release it in Dec again!! =)


*special note: Bunny promised to get mi a tiara n wand (those light up ones dat u'll find ppl sellin along orchard rd durin christmas) last christmas.. but he din coz he had to go back to Indonesia, leavin mi to spend christmas without him.. n when he got back, nobody's sellin them anymore.. hope he'll fulfil dat promise this yr... =)



CaT cat purred at 9:48 PM
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Luxury of Tears..


been gettin myself to exercise abit these few daes, doin sit-ups n stretchin.. hmm.. nothing much but still, like the feelin of my body feelin tight n strung up frm the exertions. realised dat i've gotten rather stiff coz i haven't stretched my muscles properly for a long while.. compared to the daes when i was still dancing, my flexibilty have definitely deteriorated alot.. =( as well as my endurance for pain..

i've always had a high threshold for pain.. a grimace, a wince, even tears in the eyes, threatenin to fall, datz all the expression i have for pain.. no wailin, no screamin.. i'll juz grit my teeth n bear with it, choosin to remain silent than draw attention to how much pain i'm actually feelin n how frayed my nerves are, though they threaten to snap.. guess i'm a rather private person with regards to emotions.. yet, somehow, itz not difficult to pry my thoughts frm mi.. tsk.. contradiction.. i'm private, yet so oddly devoid of secrets..

pain.. something i'll rather bear, with whatever will i have, rather than relievin it, with medicine n salves.. i'm a firm believer of "what cannot kill you, can only make you stronger".. guess i've built up quite a formidable level of pain tolerance.. =) but, i'm onli talkin abt physical pain, which i can not onli endure but relish.. (sadomasochism?? NO NO!! i dun get a sexual high frm pain.. whahha.. )

emotional pain?? i'm still workin on it.. haha.. :p



 
CaT cat purred at 9:36 PM
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Bliss


i realised i haven't exactly been slpin well these daes.. stress? or mere restlessness?? i have no idea.. juz dat, though i feel tired constantly, i have no desire to slp when night comes.. n when i do slp, dreams plague mi, leavin mi wakin up tired n groggy.. i hate to dream when i slp.. they don't fortify mi in my slp.. rather, they drain mi of my energies.. i'm sick of wakin up tired n lethargic.. i'm startin to hate wakin up, or even fallin aslp for that matter.. nothing seems to matter much to mi anymore.. except for his presence.. i'm onli too ready to slip into eternal oblivion.. i hope all these can be over soon.. and dat he can be at my side again.. n i hope that when that time comes, no one would turn up, claim him as their own, n leave mi bereft of him..




CaT cat purred at 9:25 PM
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A Question of Time..

escorted Bunny to skool todae for his maths paper.. met up with him at taka, where we ate at Mos burger for lunch.. den we walked around abit before headin for Kovan.. lallalaa~ let him walk to the bus stop while i headed to the Mac at Heartland to wait for him..

gosh! thank god i went prepared n borrowed books at orchard library before headin down to kovan.. =) i spent a total of 4 hours waitin!!! (x_x) 4 hours might not sound like alot.. but anyone who have tried to wait for another person for 4 hours, all the while sittin alone in a fast food restaurant, sippin diluted ice milo n tryin to get comfortable in a plastic-hard chair, which forces u to sit with a good posture, will agree with mi dat it is tough waitin.. gosh.. the lack of a gd n comfortable sittin position while readin for 4 hrs left mi with a backache n stiff neck.. (-_-lll

anyway, we headed to town after his paper n had dinner at cineleisure.. den, i escorted him home.. haha.. i managed to convince him to go for a swim in the chilly weather n he came up all shiverin, while i gave him his t-shirt for dryin himself up.. :p den we went up n he showered.. coz the room was abit stuffy, he switched on the air-con n after 1/2 hr, it still wasn't cold.. i told him my observation n den suddenly, the air-con started spewin out white smoke.. whahhaha... STUNNED!!! =) it was a funny sight n he hurried to switch the air-con off.. hmm.. wonder what happened to the poor machine..

anyway, i took a cab home by myself.. feelin particularly brave coz i took the lift up by myself too, without freakin out.. i hate takin lifts alone at nite.. (x_x) anyway, quite a tirin dae.. neck still feelin stiff.. i need a massage!!!!! (-_-lll


 
CaT cat purred at 10:54 PM
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The Nearness of You

It's not the pale moon that excites me
That thrills and delights me, oh no
It's just the nearness of you
It isn't your sweet conversation
That brings this sensation, oh no
It's just the nearness of you
When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me
All my wildest dreams come true
I need no soft lights to enchant me
If you'll only grant me the right
To hold you ever so tight
And to feel in the night the nearness of you



the poem is not written by mi, but by the artist.. nice.. =)


Juz got home.. todae's history was quite a killer.. saw The Terror halfway thru the paper n was stunned.. haha... made mi turn back immediately to writin.. (x_x)

met up with bunny before the paper todae.. went to taka n had lunch together.. coz it was a rather last min decision, i had to take a cab down.. sheesh.. think i scared the driver when i started sneezin non-stop, halfway thru the ride.. haha.. den he asked if the air con was turned down too low for mi.. it wasn't.. my nose simply felt tickled.. whahaha.. SARS?? :p by the time i reached taka, i was feelin rather woozy n headachy.. of all the times to fall sick.. (-_-lll really bad timin.. bunny proclaimed dat i was sick n wanted to buy panadol for mi, after he claimed dat my forehead felt hot.. but it din feel hot to mi... hmm.. anyway, we (or rather mi) had lunch at yoshinoya before i crammed in some notes n left for skool.. he accompanied mi to dhoby ghaut mrt.. =)

after the paper, headed down to toa payoh with grace's company n bought the SKII facial treatment essence sample.. clear, flawless skin, here i come!!! whahhaa.. =) when i was headin for home on bus 88, bunny msged mi n asked mi how the paper went.. den we decided to meet up n so i headed to town to meet him for dinner.. it was a double date, as his fren, Kenneth, along with Kenneth's new gf turned up too.. she's seems reallie nice n the two of them looked reallie sweet n happie together.. =) dined at breeks in taka.. helped fend off a couple of irritatin calls for the couple.. haha.. dinner was nice.. hmm.. the next time, i shall try the beef lassagne.. =)

quite a nice dae.. haha.. bunny kept feelin my forehead to see if i was runnin a temperature.. :p liked the feelin.. makes mi feel fussed over, very protected n taken care of.. =) lallalaa~ happie.. he's havin his maths paper tmr.. might consider sendin him to skool.. haha.. we shall see.. hope all will go well for him tmr.. =)




CaT cat purred at 11:03 PM
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Pure Morning.. =)

first of all, i muz wish us a HAPPY 14th MONTHSARY!!!!!!!!! =)


okie.. todae's topic: i think i'm accident prone.. afterall, how many of u can still get into knocks in a house u've lived in for 18+yrs already?? (-_-lll

knocked my elbow against the corner of a glass shelf while showerin.. knocked my shoulder against the altar when walkin frm my kitchen to my rm.. n i even managed to knock my foot against my water bottle, which i left on the floor, when i swivveled around in my chair.. i've got scratches n bruises all over.. half of which, i dun even noe when n where i got them frm.. (-_-lll i can knock my head thrice in a row, frm the moment i woke up n started gettin out of bed.. i keep bumpin into my table n stuff.. keep gettin scratched by my lecture books' bindings n my nails..

i almost got a brain concussion when the cover of my rm's light fell down frm the ceilin n hit the floor, on fridae nite.. geez.. if i had been sittin juz dat teeny bit further frm the com, it wld have hit my head instead.. watz more.. the cover fell down for no rhyme n reason.. it looked like the supports under it was turned away deliberately to let it fall.. n at 2+ in the mornin, with my bro aslp n me alone in my rm, there was no reason y it cld have happened.. unless..... gosh!!



*reminder to myselft: do not allow thoughts to stray..*



n i haven't mention the number of times i've almost got knocked down by cars.. once, i had a car pass by right in front of mi, with my face juz dat few inches away frm the car when it went past mi.. (x_x) luckily my colleague pulled mi back in time.. else...... the horrors..



*hint: if i ever go out with u, make sure u keep a close look on mi when we cross the road.. n keep a close lookout for cars too!*





digress/ indulgence in bliss: datz how Bunny first held my hand.. we were crossin the road (jay-walkin) n it was drizzlin.. so he simply took my hand n took mi across the road, frm forum.. n he din let go after dat.. =) n though the weather was cold, his hand was warm.. n i felt warmth spreadin frm my hand, to my heart, n to the rest of mi.. it was a wondrous feelin.. it was his right hand, holdin my left.. n for once, i blushed.. =) itz one of the sweetest memories i've ever had.. =) such dat i can't help smilin, yet get tears in my throat, when i recall it.. even now.. thank god he was keepin watch on the traffic.. coz i was too dazed.. haha.. even nw, how we crossed the road remains a blurred memory.. onli the warmth of his hand, warmin mine, is vivid.. coz all i could concentrate on was the warmth of his hand, the feel of his skin against mine, the fact dat he was holdin my hand, and the question of whether he'll let go once we cross the road.. n he didn't.. =) n the onli thing i wanted to do, was to be held by him, be shielded by him, be protected by him.. frm the cold wind n the rain, frm the world, frm everything else.. =) nw, i can never go out with him without holdin his hand.. coz if i dun, i'll feel bereft.. n i can never be near him, without havin some form of physical contact.. datz how much i need him, how much i'm attached to him.. all represented by this physical need for the slightest contact.. a compulsion.. i adore him to bits.. =)



okie.. back to reality.. (though i'm still mentally indulgin...)


i seriously need takin care of huh?? whahah.. ever heard of an accident prone cat?? think i'm the onli one.. :p




 
CaT cat purred at 10:13 PM
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my pri 1 pic!!! guess which one i am.. aren't we all cute?? haha.. =)

after findin a couple of pri skool frens on frenster, i started recallin abt my pri skool years.. n i can't help but reflect dat, i was a spoilt little princess.. (-_-lll

pri skool memories comprised of mi beatin up guys, guys runnin at the sight of mi, squabblin with teachers, endless piles of assessment books, n generally, havin my way in everything.. up to now, i still dun understand how i cld get away with bein such a selfish little spoilt brat.. a fierce n violent little tyrant, who was the apple of my teachers' eyes, n the bane to the boys' existence..

i used to be stuck with the nickname, "tigress", for my temper.. :p oopz.. n up til now, the guy who sat beside mi in pri 6 still complains dat he hasn't gotten over the trauma of being bullied by mi everydae.. (-_-lll i still remember punchin a guy in pri 4, right in his nose, almost causin him a nosebleed, for the reson dat he was too noisy n was disruptin my concentration.. i remember gettin into a row with a girl in pri 3, which ended up with her givin mi a slap, n my retaliation in kind.. tit for tat afterall.. :p n i remember this guy who got kicked by mi "where it hurts most" in pri 3, as well as the shoeprint dat i left on his forehead in pri 5, though he towered over mi by quite abit.. n there was another guy who fled at the sight of mi coz apparently, my glare was too fierce n he was too ashamed to face mi after he got mi into some trouble.. geee.... i was such a violent kid.. (x_x)

not onli was i violent, i had a sharp tongue.. n dat was a detail dat my pri 6 chinese teacher took great pleasure in informin my mum abt, durin meet-the-parents dae.. haha.. :p he was justified i guess.. coz, how many pri 6 kids do u noe who had a verbal spar with their chinese teacher, durin higher mother tongue lesson, usin chinese proverbs?? (-_-lll

hmm.. interestin childhood i had? haha.. or rather, scarily violent.. (thank god i've mellowed down so much) reflectin upon it now, i wonder how, with my temper n violence, did i managed to remain the apple of my teachers' eyes? i remembered bein high profile, bein popular.. haha.. strange huh?? was it my sparklin intellect or vivacious personality?? haha.. tsk tsk.. bhb.. haha.. :p



 
CaT cat purred at 10:45 PM

Don't Forget The Child In You..

(this post is supposed to be dated-- Fridae, 05/11/2004)

dat was how i started my gp essay yesterdae (thurs).. =)


spent the dae at home, fixin up the com again, n clearin up my room.. wanted to study but all the notes were in a mess, lyin in heaps on the floor, trappin tons of dust.. (-_-lll n so, i finally got around to sortin them out by subjects n stackin them neatly.. nw my room is much neater.. YAY!! gone are the dust bunnies..

halfway thru clearin, this bug came crawlin out frm in between the papers.. (0_0!!! PANIC!!! for awhile, dat is.. until i remembered dat i'm best frens with my house's vacumn cleaner.. whahaha... as wat for happened to the bug, u shld be able to guess.. =) it can start a happie family in the vacumn cleaner for all i care.. as long as the family stay put there.. :p

feelin surprised dat i noe how to vacumn the floor?? tell u something.. i can mop n sweep too!! haha.. alrite.. enough of this nonsense.. pls, i need more opinions on the fringe.. :p n i need volunteers for comin over to fix my com.. haha.. so, pls tag mi!!!!!!!!!!


ps: can i throw out my gp notes already?? gd idea?? =)


 
CaT cat purred at 2:09 AM
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I Like It Type O..

i'm ready to kill somone, chop chop.. (-_-lll


MY COM CRASHED!!! DAMNED!

nw, i'm takin time off frm fixin it to blog.. everything is in disarray!! i'm so traumatised.. thank god most of my programs r still intact.. however, the virus which i was tryin to delete (the culprit of my com crash coz i deleted it when i shldn't) is still here!! n i thought i was finally ridden of dat irritatin virus!! i curse the creator of the virus with all my heart n soul, n may he be condemned to hell for all this trouble he's causin mi.. i hope he dies a terrible death n rot in hell forever n ever!!

i'm so pissed off..

Tri came over to help mi fix the virus thingy n we ended up with a com crash in our hands.. CRISIS!!! i was literally locked (or rather, logged) out of my own com!! WAT THE!! finally, we managed to get it up, after like half a dae!! sian... but, thanx dear for helpin mi out.. =) appreciate it.. anyway, i seriously need an expert to get rid of the virus for mi.. any volunteers?? Pleaseeee!!!!! (x_x)

okie.. so, the com is drivin mi nuts.. but todae's gp was ookay laarh.. abit reluctant.. but hmm.. think will pass? haha.. chose the essay qn, " discuss the appeal and value of fantasy stories and films".. cited examples like harry potter, star wars, n even fairytales.. please tell mi those fit under the genre of fantasy.. or i will be sooooo... screwed.. (-_-lll wrote a bunch of crap.. think the marker readin this will have a sooty face by the time he/she finishes readin my essay.. y? coz itz all smoke.. whahaha... smoked thru my gp essay.. yay!!! i'm so nutz nw.. (@_@) the compre was kinda tough too.. one thing weird abt todae's papers was the reminder by the invigilators to "use only ur i/c or passport for verification.. bus passes r not allowed.." (-_-lll huh?? passports??? dotz..

by nw, i'm startin to see stars.. anyway, happie dat i finally got to see him todae!!! =) n i'm considerin the idea of cuttin my fringe into those thick, straight, jap doll style.. please give ur opinions.. dun wanna end up with a disastrous haircut.. :p

i'm sufferin frm slp deficiency.. my attempt to slp early last nite, at 11.30, was a flop.. felt like i din slp at all throughout the nite.. more like i was semi-concious all the time.. (-_-lll tired.. nw, my brain feels like itz stuffed with cotton wool.. wheee!! fluffy n slow.. hahaha.. n i'm laughin at everything nw.. i'm tired, no?

todae's have been a mish mash of ups n downs.. n i almost forgot to mention dat it felt good seein my classmates again.. =) as for him, my bunny, needless to sae, of coz i'm thrilled to bits!! =) nw.. i shall get back to whackin the com until someone decides to be kind n save mi frm the stupid virus..



ps: i was told this morn dat i looked like a taiwanese actress by my classmate, Amy.. haha.. so, til nw, i've been officially said to resemble
1) wong li lin
2) jeanette aw
3) fiona xie
4) a very young sharon ou
5) a taiwanese actress (currently still unidentified)


interestin life i lead.. (-_-lll




CaT cat purred at 11:55 PM
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True Love Tales..


todae shld be a gd dae.. despite the rainy weather outside.. i have a feelin dat it'll be good.. happie.. =)

a weird time to be happie.. afterall, tmr's the start of exams.. nitemares.. haha.. woke up feelin panicky.. but all dat melted away soon enough.. no reason y.. strange huh? =) juz finished watchin the korean movie, "The Cool Guy".. very sweet.. =)


stayed up til 3+ last nite/ this mornin, talkin to him on the phone.. was discussin abt whether the cruise wld become a reality.. n also the fact dat, when i talk to him, i've never used his name before..

itz so strange isn't it? when i've been with him for 1 yr+.. n yet, when i have to call out for him, i'm at a lost as to wat to address him as.. usually when i speak to him n need to get his attention, it was never "tri" dat i called.. but rather, "wei.." or others.. but never his name.. n there was once, in skool, when he was walkin off n i wanted to call him back to ask him some stuff, the name "tri" almost did not make it past my lips.. it juz feels weird for mi to call him by his name.. isn't dat strange? i wonder y i have such a problem.. he doesn't seem to have it though.. he likes to call mi by my chinese name.. =)

i dun have a problem mentionin his name to ppl.. but when i have to call him by his name, it juz feels weird.. is it coz, it feels too distant? afterall, datz how everyone else addresses him.. is it dat somehow, subconciously, i wanna differentiate my relationship with him, even frm the way i address him? i'm more comfortable callin him by the nicknames dat i have for him, than by callin his name.. even his 2 chinese names feels weird rollin off my tongue.. foreign.. as though the names belong to a stranger.. someone whom i dun quite noe.. n he realised last nite.. the revelation dat i've never called him by his name before.. haha.. :p truthfully, i'll rather call him "bunny".. haha.. =) any nicknames but his actual name.. afterall, not everyone is in the position to call him "dear" or anything, rite? but den.. here's the dilema.. these nicknames might prove to be blush-inducin for both of us, shld his frens hear him addressed like dat by mi.. imagine mi callin him "bunny" in front of his frens.. think they might juz end up rollin around the floor in helpless giggles.. (-_-lll


hmm.. cat, cat.. u r so strange.. y can't u settle for wat everyone else will be happy with? y keep hopin to differentiate urself frm the others? y do u wan to be different? wat is the point in it? is it dat, it makes u feel special? is it dat, itz an atempt to cover up, how plain n normal u actually are? like a wallflower, blendin, unnoticed..




CaT cat purred at 3:17 PM
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The Fragile.

all things beautiful in life r fragile.. datz wat adds to their beauty, n datz y they need to be cherished..

one such fragile n beautiful thing, is happiness..




hmm.. todae has been a relatively funnie dae.. ordered pizza for lunch.. yum.. =) but there goes my diet.. oopz.. well, at least i settled my dad's dinner for him.. (excuses excuses.. haha..)

read up abit on gp todae.. :p watched Connie n Carla too.. nice show.. very funnie n sweet.. n my dear fren sent mi this clip titled "funny dance", showin 3 guys doin a totally ridiculous lookin dance.. super funnie!! helpful for destressin.. =)

reconciled with a fren i tot i had lost.. we had some sort of short history, which ended abit abruptly n unpleasantly.. (no.. not BGR.. i'm blissfully attached to my FIRST bf nw remember? dun believe, verify with manda.. :p) todae, apologies were made n forgiveness given.. closure.. =) it feels gd to be able to sae dat something is all in the past, n reallie mean it, knowin i've left it all behind.. no messy entanglements, no bitterness.. i hope true frenship is here at last between us..
found a pri skool fren too.. realised dat we r studyin in the same skool nw.. (meanin, srjc) the world is indeed small.. or rather, singapore.. :p

Tri raised the idea of goin on a cruise after the exams.. with some of our frens.. sounds gd? =) hope dat the idea will become reality.. shld be fun.. not to mention the watchin of sunrises n sunsets together.. =)




happiness can be a calm and quiet thing, a moment of rest upon the wind, that makes sunset less sad and haunting.. and brightens the sunrise with a gentle promise.





CaT cat purred at 10:46 PM
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Even Angels Fall


i'm feelin super pissed off nw.. dun ask y, dun bother, get lost!

anyway, borin dae spent at home alone. nothin much to sae.





CaT cat purred at 10:06 PM
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