i think i'm destined to spend my life in eternal loneliness. =(

cho sabishi desu ne~

anyway, some "highlights" of the week. thurs, had the 2nd class with B.T.F.H. she gave us a pop quiz when she din mention any when goin thru our syllabus, which total score was 16, and which makes up 16% of our final grade. wat the fuck. lolx.. my dear fren Johan made fun of mi dreaming throughout the test, when he did the same. :p i onli flipped my paper over after finishin coz i saw dat he did. anyway, luck was on my side n my not-completely-educated guesses were right n i got full marks. yay!!

watched pirates of the caribbean too. it was a tad too abstract and slow moving for mi in the front. wasn't very funnie either. think dead man's chest was betta. but johnny depp was still hot, n orlando bloom got hotter too, so all is forgiven. lolx.. though i wun watch it again.

my nanny's son is back frm whereva-he-was-workin-at, to make preparations for his wedding. =) chatted with him over msn n he cldn't recognise mi frm the picture. went over to my nanny's hse to chat with him while he scanned our childhood pics to make his weddin montage. hahahahaa.. he said i can pass off as 16!! happie.. n the moment he saw mi, he said i lost weight, which makes mi one of my favored people in the world right now. =) time flies.. we grew up together since i was 1mth old n nw my "big bro" is gettin married. oh well, itz time for him anyway, since he's hittin 30 le. muahahahhaaa.. he tot i was 18 this yr n i happily told him dat he's gettin reallie old coz well, itz actually 21.

can't think of anything much besides i'm wonderin if anyone will donate if i set up the "save the Cat fund" coz i'm penniless nw, n itz the Great Singapore Sale. =(

oh ya.. i can't see my tagboard again.
CaT cat purred at 10:00 AM
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think this first half of the semester is a goner.

yesterdae was first dae of sch for this semester, n i met a bitch-teacher-frm-Hell. first, the teacher picked on all those who came in late, sayin that they r wasting the class's time. but by showerin so much attention on them, isn't she effectively doin the same thing? next. she said we can sign our attendance n take her handouts after the break. the "functional" break was 15mins long, and being sensible people who noes that time should be efficiently spent, some of us went to sign our attendance after we came back frm our "functional" break, before the full 15mins.

know what the B.T.F.H said?

"can you read what's on the board? what does it say? can u understand what it says? it says sign after the break. AFTER. is the break over yet? itz not. you can come and sign later AFTER the break."

WAT THE FUCK?!

she saes we shld not waste time, n yet she stops us from spendin class time more efficiently with her anal-retentiveness? everyone knows attendance-taking always takes a long time. n she wanna use class time for it? in the end, we wasted abt 30mins on her attendance-taking, not including the "functional" break time, which was too long anyway.

ugh... pissed off. n den todae proved to be super unlucky. i stepped out of the hse on time, with extra 15mins to spare after includin the usual travelling time, but ended up reachin sch abt 20mins late due to some guy who tried to be smart n sped on the bus lane n got pulled over at the side by the traffic police, causing a massive jam. as if that wasn't enuf, the bus driver was some guy who liked to swerve the bus recklessly, almost causing mi to lose my balance once. den, the aircon dripped water on my arm. grrrrrr... the most embarrassing blooper todae muz have been walkin late INTO THE WRONG CLASS. n the people in the wrong class i went into, happens to noe mi. -_-lll n to think the teacher saw mi outside, ushered mi in n handed mi the notes, den told the class we shld try not to be late. i was not onli late, i was in the wrong place.. sian... shld have checked the class venue before i went to sch, instead of feelin secure abt havin checked it last nite.

so.. the first 2 daes have been very eventful. n i'm thinkin i'm gonna be so dead if i try to smoke my way thru, the way i usually do. tired juz frm thinkin abt the rushin of work datz gonna come..
CaT cat purred at 3:05 PM
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fully recovered. unfortunately, dat means my appetite is back. =( mi wanna be anorexic.

so, family dinner todae, as with every alternate sunday. my cousins came n the house was lively. the cute lil' niece din come. n to think i had my brother buy a packet of wasabi-flavoured seaweed snack to let her try. feelin rather disappointed. (go ahead n think she's unlucky to have such an evil auntie. lolx..)

poured some umeshu for my cousins to try. n accidents r bound to happen when there r so many of us in a tiny room. lolx.. was disturbin my cousin when he knocked over a glass n it shattered on the floor in my room. me being the eldest cousin there, went to get the broom to sweep up the pieces. i came back to find my mum limpin out of my room holdin one of her feet. turns out dat she came to check out the source of our hysterical laughter, n kept walkin towards the "accident zone" despite my cousin tellin her dat there's glass on the floor. -_-lll dun ask mi why she didn't listen.

anyway, swept up the pieces, n vacuumed the room PERSONALLY. haiz... n even after all that, my cousins n brother were still sceptical about steppin on the floor. n thus, to set everyone's mind at ease, i walked over the entire floor barefoot to check for fragments. lolx.. dunnoe wat i'll do if i had ended up like my mum. think i'll probably juz start laughin hysterically over the whole thing. :p

i hate being called a liar.
CaT cat purred at 10:40 PM
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itz friday now, so i shld sae, i spent wednesday night huddled in my blanket, jacket, tshirt, long pants and socks.

tried sleepin early to ward off any impending sickness. aircon was turned down coz i get cold easily. but it wasn't warm enough coz the cold suddenly turned unbearable. thought i was gonna die, n quickly got up to put on more layers.

woke up feelin slightly betta. squeezed myself some orange juice for vitamin c. but my lower jaw is hurtin nw, n my shoulders feel sore n achy. dousing myself in this super bitter herbal tea dat my mum saes helps to ward off colds.

troubled and sick.. wat more can u ask for?
CaT cat purred at 12:13 AM
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my entire body is achin.. and i have no idea what's wrong. maybe itz the lack of eatin proper meals these few days, maybe itz accumulation of all these nights where i didn't sleep well, maybe itz all the vexing i've been doing.. maybe itz the accumulation of everything above. feeling very battered. like someone gave me a very sound n thorough beating.

met up with Manda for a late lunch todae. what to sae? we are troubled people. :p felt sick halfway thru n supposedly turned pale despite havin blusher on. so much for thinking makeup conceals everything huh.. darn.. i seldom get to see myself lookin pale. wished i had a mirror then. so, i turned into a hollow-eyed zombie in Jubilee's Mos Burger. had a mini-breakdown where i burst into sudden tears, much to the horror of us both.

feeling unsettled. i can't finish a slice of bread.. i can't finish a packet of drink.. my ribs hurt, my back hurts, my arms hurt... wonder how i'm gonna sleep tonight.
CaT cat purred at 10:35 PM

i'm on a serious shortage of trust. itz hard to believe in people who don't keep to their words.

no idea watz going on anymore.
CaT cat purred at 10:11 AM
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i broke my own record todae.. by going without food for more than 24hrs.

no, i'm not dieting.. itz juz a sudden lack of appetite and hunger. could be the worries from yesterday's screw-ups..

now, the idea of eatin makes mi feel sick. n i noe i shld eat and dun mind eatin, so i'm not turnin anorexic.

itz just that there are still nagging worries..
CaT cat purred at 10:58 PM
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i'm the queen of screw-ups. i've succeeded in alienating some of the most important people in my life. i feel like a real failure now.

i feel so sorry about everything.
CaT cat purred at 10:24 PM
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went to Manda's hse last evenin n finally helped her clear her closet. lolx.. i did nothin much except help her re-fold her clothes, n encouragin her to be more ruthless when deciding what to keep. sentimentality doesn't help when u've run out of hangers and closet space.

i ended up home with a dress. -_-lll a rather plunging neckline, dat i'm sorta uncomfy with. she mus be thinkin "if u have the assets, flaunt it". haiz...

todae's Mothers' Day. for those who are able, show some appreciation. for those who can't, remember them fondly. =)
CaT cat purred at 12:09 PM
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You were not there when I needed you. No excuses or reasons can change that fact or make it alright.

My fears, my needs, my wants, my feelings. Those are insignificant to you, compared to your own enjoyment. Increasingly, I feel you are only there when you want something from me.

Sure, there were good times. Not everything was bad. Yet those little but important things, you always neglect. I'm not even looking for or expecting perfection now, but you still fall short. I'm trying to be contented, I try to make do with what scraps you give me, but complete happiness eludes me.

Sometimes it feels like you hope there's no me in your life. Not in your phonebook, not in public with you, not in front of your friends, family, not in your existence. It'll be simple enough for me to grant that to you. All you need is to say the words. Afterall, I'm already one step out the door.

Words are nothing without the actions to back it up. All the "I love you"s in the world would just sound empty. And I've known for a long time that those words are hollow.
I know that if one day I want to leave, you wouldn't hold me back.
CaT cat purred at 1:05 AM
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i was supposed to watch Spideyman todae.. but curiosity got the betta of mi, n i watched 28 Weeks Later instead.

i got nauseous halfway thru, but the show was okie. it was tastefully done- the way it scares the audience is different frm how Dawn of the Dead scares. this movie provides fodder to think about, unlike Dawn of the Dead, which onli objective was to scare the audience with gore n violence. 28 Weeks Later is not juz a zombie show coz of itz depth, which i think makes it worth watchin despite my dislike for horror flicks.

yep.. so no more spoilers. not for the weak-hearted.
CaT cat purred at 10:12 PM
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i now have a legitimate reason for disliking being in the house's kitchen at nite.

a woman frm the block behind committed suicide by jumpin out her 9th storey kitchen window, a few daes ago.

see.. i always had the feeling that the place was somewhat ominous. =(
CaT cat purred at 12:28 PM

okie.. i take back my words abt hating the 7th. i don't.

had a happie dae. =)
CaT cat purred at 12:46 AM
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one would have thought that riding on the ferris wheel with ur loved one will be one of the most romantic moments in life. WRONG.

it was freaking scary.

i have concluded that i'm a strictly earth-bound creature who should not attempt to fly.

went to the carnival at woodlands last nite. onli took the bumper cars and the ferris wheel. i am convinced that the whole thing is a cash sink, intended to fleece couples, people with kids, or those who r still "young at heart". din eat any cotton candy, which might explain why i'm not feelin too high about the whole thing.

last nite wasn't a happie nite. n todae doesn't feel like a happie dae. i dun like the 7th anymore. so much for goin to sleep thinkin "tomorow will be a betta dae", n wake up believing it.

i hate the 7th.
CaT cat purred at 10:31 AM
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all girls have very creepily accurate sixth sense right?

i wonder how accurate mine is. i wish it isn't.

~

anyway, went for my sec school fren, Benjamin Era's house warming party todae. more like an escort of Manda. left early with her n went Junction8 for a late lunch before finally ending up at her house. no pics todae coz we were tired!! phew...

so, it was qute fun catchin up with those people, but tiring too. socialising is not for mi.
CaT cat purred at 11:50 PM
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