Shadow Passion V2

woke up late for skool todae.. but managed to get there on time by speedin up the makeup process.. -_-lll wore jeans to skool for the first time.. bought dat pair of jeans in sec 2, din like them, n passed them on to my mum.. nw.. i've been accumulatin alot of scars on my leg frm mozzies bites n wan to cover them up.. hence the jeans.. quite comfy.. shall consider gettin more..

my eyes r blurry nw... i'm always semi-comatose by the end of the week.. can't believe i dun have any recollection of wakin up this mornin to shut off the alarm on my hp.. dun rmb wakin up.. scary autopilot mode..



CaT cat purred at 9:51 PM
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I Can't Feel A Thing


happy endings are nothing but lies.

he told mi dat he needs a break frm mi, dat he dun feel like talkin to mi, dat i've changed. he told mi dat he wun call mi ever again, n when i've realised how i've changed, den i can call him.

how am i supposed to noe how much time u need? u think i'm happie? how do u think i feel when u tell mi dat u wun call mi ever again?

i can give u space, i can give u time. but when i tell u to contact mi when u r ready, n u tell mi u wun call mi ever again, i can onli think dat those lines will eventually lead to a breakup.

if datz wat u wan frm mi, u shld juz tell mi dat straight. coz i'll juz keep waitin for u to call, since i dun noe how much time n space u'll need. i wun call, coz i'm tired of chasin after u. whenever u run away, i will be the one to eventually bow down, take a step back, n give in, try to make things okie. i'm gettin tired of dat role. i have to think of my own happiness too.

u hurt mi. n i think u'll never be able to realise how much even if u try. u make mi feel like a wilting flower, with all itz energies sapped.

i feel like i'm dying.



CaT cat purred at 9:43 PM
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the pic dat i put as a watermark for my music assignment..


been reallie busy with the assignment, thanx to my perfectionistic streak..

feelin kinda sick nw.. din eat dinner, rm's cold, hungry, n stressed.. no wonder i feel nauseous..

accompanied him to Sim Lim todae to get some stuff for his com..



tired.. reallie reallie tired..
CaT cat purred at 11:59 PM
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OnlyMe


sketched this in class todae.. gonna colour it when i have the time..

been workin on my english essay the whole dae since i got home frm skool.. totally uninspired. think i wun be able to hit the minimum 1500 words. n i've been starin at the com screen so long dat it now looks glaringly bright to my eyes.. =( think i'm gonna go blind soon. n instead of seein blackness, i'll see whiteness.. (-_-lll

music test's on weds.. panicked for nothin last nite.. wth..

felt kinda down todae.. feel heartbroken when i listen to certain songs.. where's my happiness?



CaT cat purred at 9:37 PM
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The Butterfly Effect


(-_-lll


i juz realised dat i have my 3rd music quiz tmr.. i'm so gonna flunk music.. shld have resigned.. (-_-lll

n i haven't done my english essay, nor my music assignment..

i'm gonna die.



CaT cat purred at 10:28 PM
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Howl n Sophie frm Howl's Moving Castle



MY NUDE COLOURED G-STRING TURNED GREEN!!!!!! (x_x)

wth!! soaked it with the other lingerie dat needs to be washed n this is wat happens?!! arrgghh.. nw it looks like itz always been dat appley-foresty green.. (-_-lll i can't imagine how the colour can turn out to be so even..

anyway..

went over to Tri's house in the mornin.. watched Mr n Mrs Smith on his com.. den he sent mi home coz he had to attend dance lessons with his sis in the evening..

been ponderin alot abt my life these daes.. whether or not we r happie, whether we make each other happie, whether he is, whether i am. we were. are we? will we? hmm.. i no longer have the confidence i had in the past, bein able to keep thinkin dat we will always be happie together, dat we'll always stay together. i live in the moment nw. no thinkin abt the future.

CaT cat purred at 10:48 PM
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I Wish I Could Fly


bad dae.. reallie bad.. feel very alone. unwanted..

there's so much dat i wanna type. abt coincidences, abt fate, abt missed chances, abt meetin right people at the wrong time.. but i can't. itz all so bittersweet n yet so hurtin.


i feel so hurt n lonely at the thought of u nw..

sad.





CaT cat purred at 9:34 PM
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went to watch Initial D with him at Lido todae!! spur of the moment decision by him.. glad we managed to get tics.. =) it was realie nice.. super funnie n very cool when they race. Jay Chou was cute, Edison Chen- droolsome.. hahaha..

tired.. i hate it dat i break out when itz dat time of the month.. i wonder y i'll rather skip dinner than eat it when i get home later than dinner time. i hate the spike in my hp bill n the way my parents threaten to cut it off whenever they r unhappie with mi.

the list juz goes on n on..

i kinda forgot wat i wanted to blog abt.. (-_-lll not feelin too well.



CaT cat purred at 9:28 PM
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Somewhere Over The Rainbow.

tired..

passed econs.. =)

does he miss mi?



CaT cat purred at 6:54 PM
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Death Shall Have No Dominion

strikin pic.. stark colours.

think i'm comin down with a flu.. =(

met up with him todae.. din go for maths.. went for lunch at Taka before headin to slack at his house.. quite a gd dae.. =) but i think i'm jinxed.. things tend to go wrong in my life when i think they r gettin on fine. hope this wun be the case todae.

received a letter frm the skool, advisin mi to resign frm Music due to my pathetic grades.. (-_-lll arrgghhh... how? gonna ask abt it tmr.. i dun believe dat i can't catch up if i reallie bother to study. i hope this wun be the pattern for all the other courses, coz if datz the case, i'll probably get it for Maths n Econs too.. leavin onli English.. (o_O)

my life is so screwed up.





CaT cat purred at 9:12 PM
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Spotted


spent $105 at the skin doc's todae.. -_-lll went with Manda as usual.. skipped skool todae. wonder if i can watch when Manda get her chemical peelin done.. :p

cleared out my wardrobe todae.. folded n piled up all the clothes dat i no longer wear.. quite alot.. nw my closet looks empty.. the clothes dat r left look lonely!! n i found out dat i reallie do have a very limited choice in clothes.. arrgghhh!!! it cld have been emptier still, if i reallie took out all the clothes dat i no longer wear or dun intend to wear. but i think my mum wld have a fit if she sees dat i'm gettin rid of clothes which i've bought n not worn at all.. i reallie need to get my wardrobe up to date with basics.. haiz... shoes n bags too.. damn.. =(

i need new blusher too!! haiz..

one full dae spent at home n i realise there's so much clearin n junkin to do.. i reallie shld get rid of the tendency to hoard things "juz in case".. itz clutterin up all the space in my rm.



CaT cat purred at 9:42 PM
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Silence III


stayed at home the whole dae.. still a long way frm payin my slp debt.. gave my bro tuition, ironed clothes, watched dwnloaded variety shows, read. stayin at home brings a relief to mi.. think i've been spendin too much time outside, in skool.. bein constantly surrounded by ppl, not havin a quiet moment to myself. startin to feel weary frm all dat.. need a breather.. no expectations, no nothing.

dearie, can we spend quiet, restful moments together? no demands, no should or should-nots. juz bein in each other's company.. is dat possible?

feel like my inner self is parched with a thirst for reflective moments where i can truly let down all defenses n rest. i reallie need a respite frm everything..



CaT cat purred at 10:52 PM
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Nymph of Drenched Flames

met up with Tri todae.. accompanied him to settle some stuff for his dad n his bro.. den headed for his house..

had a sorta showdown todae.. kinda thrashed some things out between us.. can't reallie sae we've cleared everything up.. can't reallie sae we can put all unhappiness behind us. but i think we both have a clearer idea of wat each other wan now.. at least for mi, datz the case.. i guess i din realise dat some of the things i tot he wun find impt, have actually been significant to him.. tot he din care. i tot wrong. he does. =) n nw dat i noe, i guess i'll be able to avoid alot of conflicts.

tired.. todae have been an emotional rollercoaster for mi.. i wonder if itz the same for him too.. i miss him already.
CaT cat purred at 11:59 PM
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You Stole My Wings


end of mid-terms!! haven't seen him since Tues.. meetin him tmr..


tired..

todae was a rather interestin dae..

econs.. hmm...




CaT cat purred at 11:45 PM
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it hurts

i can feel the distance between us, gettin wider n wider.

n i dunnoe how to close it.

i feel dat u reallie dun need mi, nor wan mi around. so, wat am i doin in ur life?

less calls, less msgs, less meet-ups.. ur life is busy without mi.

i feel like an extra in ur life.


n the worst thing is, u dun make mi feel otherwise.

if u dun love mi, dun hurt mi either.


CaT cat purred at 11:02 PM

Utopia.


tired.. achin all over.. maths was very very bad.. (-_-lll everything i can vaguely recall before went right out of my head when i saw the qns..

talk abt selective memory.. mine's definitely finicky..



CaT cat purred at 10:28 PM
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the pic dat no one can figure out.. can u?

music was disastrous todae.. not worth mention. english was okie.. tmr's maths.. need all the luck i can get.


tired.. revised maths n econs with Wifey.. quite a gd dae, not considerin Midterms..

he hung up on mi.. itz almost like he's physically here, but not emotionally.. i feel neglected.. n i'm tired, worn out frm chasin.. i've figured dat if he reallie cares, he'll noe wat to do. he'll come for mi. itz all so simple..



CaT cat purred at 11:50 PM
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Bloodshot. datz my left eye u r lookin at.. not sore eye.. woke up with my eyes bloodshot n watery this mornin.. went around skool havin ppl thinkin dat i've been cryin my eyes out. (-_-lll no i haven't. i juz din get enuf slp. itz not even sore or anything.. in fact, my eyes feels normal. they juz dun LOOK normal.. datz all..


started my dae bad.. was trapped in a corner seat by this big-sized guy.. he had swarthy lookin skin n was fallin aslp on the seat beside mi.. he was proppin up his head with his hands n his elbows dat were supposed to be restin on HIS bag, kept jabbin at my thigh instead, due to the motion of the bus n the fact dat he was dead tot the world.. he even drooled.. gosh!! most disgustin sight i've ever seen on a bus, n right beside mi!! arrggghhh.. n when he woke, he din even bother abt his drool, dat have collected in a puddle on his plastic bag.. he juz went right back to SnoozeLand.. (o_O)


wat a bad start.. n when i got to skool, i suddenly felt so tired of everything.. emotionally n physically.. felt drained.. everyone was askin y i looked so grumpy.. i wasn't!! i was juz tired..

dae onli got better when i saw dat i got an A for my english essay.. happie.. was expectin a C at most. =)

Wifey not here todae.. so skipped Maths after i've signed my attendance..

tmr's English n Music midterms.. noe nutz abt Music.. i'm so gonna die..



CaT cat purred at 9:14 PM
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seductive?? (x_x)

too tired to blog.. nothin much to blog abt either.. mind is juz empty.

mid terms comin.. haiz..

dun like havin to wake early.. wrecks havoc on my skin n my mental consciousness.. feel like i'm wadin thru cotton everydae.



CaT cat purred at 9:24 PM
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my cousin saes this is the nicest pic dat i've ever taken..

my wifey is sick.. =( hope she'll get well soon.


i think SIM is not bad.. coz i'm actually lookin forward to Mondaes when i used to dread it.. =)



CaT cat purred at 10:23 PM
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The Burberry's Sheep.


watched abit of Madagascar todae.. found it kinda lame.. din like it.

watched The Incredible Hulk.. found it lame too.. rather boring..

is it juz mi?? (-_-lll


skin's actin up on mi again..



CaT cat purred at 10:39 PM
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one of the luminated walls in Marriott Hotel.

met up with Tri todae.. he was supposed to come over but he woke up too late. so i went over instead to finish watchin the shows dat he dwnloaded..

Unleashed cld have been a nice movie, if the characters not been so shallow n one-dimensional, if the story did not have so many loopholes..

watched Howl's Moving Castle too.. the main character, Howl, was simply cute. reallie reallie cute for an anime character.. *sigh* =) quite a nice anime, along the style of Spirited Away.

dinner was at Nooch. saw Freddy n Pamela frm my skool.. saw this guy frm SR too..


tired.. throat hurts..



CaT cat purred at 10:55 PM
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My Wings

are clipped.


quarrelled with him todae.. juz feel dat i'm like an unwanted baggage to him. n i wonder, if we r still together out of habit n a sense of responsibilty, or out of love.

the line is blurred. so much dat i can't see clearly anymore.


cried while sittin at the benches of my void deck after he sent mi to my block. he had to leave for his course..

everything's goin wrong. n somehow i feel like he blames mi for it, though he said he doesn't..

itz an instinctive feeling dat i get frm observin him..


wat to do? sometimes the urge to call it quits surge.. but den i think, will i regret it? n hesitate..



CaT cat purred at 10:20 PM
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all ponytailed.. =)

think narcissism is contagious n i caught it frm Manda.. (-_-lll





look wat a difference a pair of shades n a lack of a smile can make?!

juz finished vomittin out an essay to be submitted tmr.. went over to his house to finish it in the afternoon.. quarrelled alot.. =( haiz.. saded.. eyes achin frm cryin.. tired.. we r okie nw.. but, all this is stressin mi out.

i'm so glad there's no skool on Fri.
CaT cat purred at 11:43 PM
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scene in East Coast. editted out a couple.. mayb i shld edit them in again..


todae's our monthsary. =) skipped one hr of maths to slip of so dat i can meet him earlier.. had to do so coz he had to attnd his course at 7pm at Bedok, while skool ends at 3.. so, no time? i'll make time.

accompanied him to go grocery shoppin before we slacked at his house. sounds so borin for a mthsary? itz not wat we do, as long as we r together. ahahaha.. sounds so sappy. he den drove mi home before headin for Bedok.

been in a fix these daes.. been reallie tired too. kept feelin sleepy, whenever, wherever..



CaT cat purred at 9:48 PM
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Mi todae.. this is wat i wore to skool this mornin.. the dress worn on a dare.

skool ended early todae. went over to his house after pickin up a cup of Pure Chocolate frm CoffeeBean Paragon. courtesy of Wifey of coz.

he woke up with a headache when i got there. had to wait on him n get him back to a better mood.. (x_x) headed for Bedok with his fren, Kenneth, when he felt better. checked out the route to the community centre he had to go to to attend the computer courses he signed up for. headed for East Coast Park after dat, where we pedalled along on a double-bicycle, while Kenneth harrassed other cyclists with his bicyle "stunts".

went to the doc with him after dat. the doc was super funnie.. talked alot of nonsense n asked if we were married.. (o_O) hello!! we r like onli 18+??!! said we look compatible coz i looked abit Indonesian.. told Tri to treat mi better n marry mi quick.. (-_-lll nutz..

he drove mi home for the first time!! under the guidance of mi n Kenneth. =)


tired... i was mosquito fodder for todae.. =( took alot of pics.. shall consider abt uploadin them.



CaT cat purred at 10:27 PM
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Acting Cute


accompanied grannie to Marriott Hotel todae to attend a weddin lunch. yes, lunch. very pretty ballroom, with luminated walls dat have a marble effect.. sorta like shinin light thru a very translucent piece of jade.. n the walls can change colour!! due to the lights inside it i suppose. took a pic of it when it was a deep rose pink.. mayb i will post it up tmr.

food was gd, service was meticulous. the atmosphere was there, n the place was grand. the groom was very sweet.. todae happened to be the bride's bdae n the groom sang " When I Fall In Love" for her.. accapella, on the stage.

i was the onli one under the age of 50 at the table i was seated at. (x_x) muz have been an odd sight. surrounded by grannies n granddads all over.. kinda boring..

met up with him after the weddin lunch. walked around n den slacked at his house.. made him dwnload movies for mi to watch.. :p



CaT cat purred at 11:04 PM
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TADAA!!

i've finally screwed up enuf courage to post a pic of my makeup-less face..

errr.. face glistens due to the moisturiser i had on.. look at how pale i am.. (-_-lll n do try to ignore the dark eyerings..

n i wasn't wearin a cap, but a hairband.. :p like to pull my hair away frm my face when i'm at home.



CaT cat purred at 9:05 PM
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Mi n Manda at CoffeeBean Paragon


met up with Manda for dinner after skool todae.. went for dinner at Nooch in Paragon, followed by Bravissimo gelato. =) went to the supermarket to look for a lunch box so dat she can prepare bentos for Simon.. headed for CoffeeBean to see my Wifey as well as slack before goin home.

they have a new drink, Belgian Chocolate Ice Blended. sounds divine.

anyway, we started takin pic with our hp.. lots of dumb act-cute poses.. shall wait for Manda to send the pics in her hp to mi..



CaT cat purred at 10:48 PM
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Sylfs World V-II


Highlight of the Dae- got lost in Singapore with him..


he had to pass somethin to his aunt at the airport n decided to drive there.. so, i accompanied him.. first time sittin in the car, n driven by him. amazingly, i din feel the insecurities dat will plague mi when i'm in others' cars..

we din noe the way to Changi Airport coz it was his first time havin to drive there by himself.. we got there juz fine, but lost our way for awhile when we wanted to head for Suntec after dat to do some grocery shoppin for him.. somehow made our way to Marina Bay.. (-_-lll

i've learnt dat tryin to decipher the Street Directory on a movin car is incredibly stressful n faint-inducin.. :p at one pt, we grazed past a lorry coz both of us were half-aslp n fiddlin with the radio controls.. din keep an eye on the road n OOPZ!! :p since the car was alrite n we din get hurt, it was quite funnie. onli thing dat happened to the car was dat the rearview mirror got shifted, resultin in a large snap dat alerted us to watchin the road again..

managed to get to his house frm Suntec alrite.. =) quite a fun experience.. mayb next time we can juz get lost in Singapore again n try to figure out the roads.. dat'll be a gd way for him to familiarise himself with the roads here..




CaT cat purred at 11:27 PM
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Perfect Lies

for teachers.. not gonna get specific.. :p

the tests todae were disastrous.. not worth any mention at all actually..

met him at J8 after skool todae.. fell aslp on the bus n woke up with a headache.. lack of slp is reallie gettin to mi. i'm tired of lookin listless n worn-out everydae.. i'm tired of feelin tired. =(

went to watch Monster-In-Law. very worth watchin for those into comedies. esp romantic comedies.. haven't laughed so much while watchin a movie for a long time. =)

gonna slp earlier tonite if i can.. before 12.. migraines r fast becomin my best frens..





CaT cat purred at 10:39 PM
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